32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
