You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
