I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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