I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
