Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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