I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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