You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
