I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
