the day after is always just damage control
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
