I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize