weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
