glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
