cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
