i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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