I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
