Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
