I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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