so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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