i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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