just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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