My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
