You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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