"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think i have herpe
just one?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
