with your own penis?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
