I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
