I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
