from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
