people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
