Midget sex pt 2 tonight
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
