Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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