Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
