I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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