So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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