i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
