think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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