Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think i have herpe
just one?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize