I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
