I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
