You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
