Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
