look no pants
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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