I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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