What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
