its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
