I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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