i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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