Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
