Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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