dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
