I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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