shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
