answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize