she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize