Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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