I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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