Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
