I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
