Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
