shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I am naked and annoyed.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
