my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just had sex on a roof
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
