i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
