my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
