Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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