Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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