I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
