would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
